Missionary Journal (1978-1980) - Page 15

April 28, 1978

of course, it is a gift (that is, faith and healing) so the many weaknesses I have could become strengths as it says in Ether 12:27. It talks about these gifts of the spirit simply, I just hadn't noticed or understood what it meant. "And to another is given exceeding great faith, and to another the gift of healing by the same spirit [that is, of faith]" (Moroni 10:11). "And to others is given to have faith to heal" (D&C 46:20). I really enjoy these times (that come more frequently now) when I feel I'm beginning to understand part of the gospel.

In class yesterday, for a building activity, we were asked to share in Spanish about the time we received our testimonies. This was really good for me because now that I feel I do have a small but growing testimony, I had to organize my thoughts and figure out why I felt that way. Actually, I had been thinking about the same thing the day before and this is how I feel:

I got the impression that ever since I can remember, I've always wanted a strong burning witness that this gospel is true, and ever since I started asking the Lord for that witness I was expecting or waiting for some great marvelous manifestation that would give me that type of testimony. But now I feel that because I was looking for something big, or maybe because I didn't know what I was looking for, I was never sensitive enough to feel the small, quiet, sweet spirit, even the whisperings of the spirit that I think I feel now.

Now, that doesn't mean I'm not looking for the strong burning testimony I was promised if I'm faithful, it just means that I'm willing to take it one step at a time and let the Lord bless me with what I need when I need it. I'm really trying in this part of my mission (with other things like discussions and language, as I have a hard time feeling like it's one big class in school, so it is easy to do only enough to get by), but I can see the need for the Lord in this work especially in my spiritual progress because I really don't know what I want (or what I am looking for).

Every night and ... Next Page