May 3, 1978there the President was gone and we were left to wonder what was going to happen. About two days before this, all the guys in my room started to say that I would be the next "gran jefe" of the Branch [Branch President]. I tried to joke [my way] around it (that Elder Brady would be called to it), but actually, I was very complimented - and worried. So when I was called to the President's office, I was scared. I really didn't want to be the Executive Secretary, especially [did not want] to take Elder Owen's place. Well, he wasn't leaving for two weeks so I had hope.
President Sherwood finally came and I was called to be an acting district leader (ADL) for a new district coming in tomorrow. The district is called "Jaen" (a city near Seville). Well, I was relieved for about 10 minutes and then I started to worry about this calling. I remember when I first came, our ADL (Edler Cooley and his twin) had a great effect on me and I was impressed. For the first two weeks, everyone seems to be old and mature (you think of them as missionaries [that have been out] two years instead of 6-8 weeks), and the only missionary I knew was Elder Cooley. He was my example until I got settled down and got some goals for myself. I really feel that this is an important calling, and I hope that I'm up to it.
Today in our district meeting we were told that we needed to be humble and meek because we need the Holy Ghost in our work here and in Spain, and that only comes to those that are lowly of heart. Well, since I had figured that out before, I started to feel proud "I'm ahead of you" feeling and I could see where I was no more humble than anybody else. I want those things and I want to be humble. I don't think I understand the difference between confidence and pride, or insecurity and humility, but I sure that one needs confidence (in himself as well as the Lord) and humility. And whenever I have any success and begin to develop self-confidence (or what I think is self-confidence) I begin to be proud inside - only on the inside but that's what really counts. And I begin to feel ahead or a little better than the others, then I feel the spirit come and then go every time. All my life, even ... Next Page
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