April 30, 1978at many other times, I look at myself and at the job I have to do with all that's expected and needed, [and] I just feel overwhelmed or hopeless. I have no one to turn to but the Lord. I pray that the Lord will be able to bless me with those things I need, or guide me in what I do that I might obtain them (it's either desperation or faith that I'm exercising).
Last night I really needed to pray and I decided to pray in English so I could really express my feelings. When I was done and didn't feel as good as I had wished. I felt the Lord was telling me that I was forgetting parts of that talk he inspired me in writing. I read what James E. Talmage said about prayer (page 238), how its a thing not compounded of words but of inner desires, and I also talked about keeping rules and learning to ask for only those things worthy to receive. We need to be living the laws upon which the blessings we want are predicated. And when I needed help. I forgot this about prayer and broke a personal rule (praying in Spanish) and still expected help. After I decided to pray in Spanish always and have faith that the Lord will understand and help. I felt the sweet calm spritit I wanted, and then I went to bed. Sometimes I begin to feel like I am getting farther away from Susan - having a hard time remembering how it was; AND I WORRY.
I was just reading what I had written and I wanted to rememer that things were OK (once again) when I got a package from Susan. She really does a great job. Before I left I had to wonder a few times if this was all going to work out in a way good for me and Susan, but she really came through for me. She is developing into a beautiful and more desirable [person], even more than before. I even think sometimes that she might be (or is) the girl I'm looking for because my patriarchal blessing makes my wife sound pretty good. I know I need to look for someone that is like Susan (if it is not her).
Last week my companion and I were called into President Sherwood's office, and by the time we got ... Next Page
No comments:
Post a Comment