...watching in church and see others so touched by what seemed to be everyday occurrences and I would wonder if I wasn't so hard-headed that I was missing the boat. I knew I wouldn't doubt that I was taught by my parents, I only wanted to please the Lord by having a strong testimony and serving him well. I had listened and studied well the doctrines of the church and knew as much as anyone my age about the gospel but still wanted my own "burning bush." I realize now, how I was "looking beyond the mark" by searching for something that I didn't need and might not have been prepared for. My mistake was believing that what they called a testimony was not a single happening but a series of faith-promoting experiences that serve to strengthen your belief into a perfect knowledge. For some people, there may be one event that sticks out in their minds as the single most influential set of experiences, but most people don't need the angelic visitation for a strong and burning testimony. I have been converted years before by the still small [voice] that always graced our home and ward. The Spirit is a very subtle companion and usually works with us in peaceful still ways. For someone like me who always had the Spirit in my home and family, it was difficult to differentiate between its influence and what I had always thought was just a part of me.To better prepare myself for missionary service I begin attending our stake mission preparation course. It was very well taught and [it] inspired [me] to study and become familiar with those doctrines that supported the discussions that were then being used. I chose to be ordained an elder about the time Noel was preparing to leave to Belgium. Of course my father, who was Bishop at the time, ordained me while Noel assisted as I did with others. I was always doubting myself as I would see my weaknesses; shortly after my ordination I had the opportunity to anoint my Grandma when my father sealed and blessed her. I didn't have any great sins but was afraid that I was seen by God as a poor servant because of the many things I never got to. It was still a struggle to read the scriptures every day, I would miss the welfare assignments ,and never come early to set up the tables for dinners. I hadn't done any genealogy since before I was 12 and I still didn't make my bed. They may have been a little things but they twisted my conscience into submission.
My mission preparation series was soon completed and I started attending again before my Dad pulled me aside one Sunday to ask if it wasn't about time I started with my papers. I had no idea that it would take months to process my calling, but the greatest surprise was that it was really getting close. We began with interviews and with each step the idea that it was really happening became more of a reality. I had a language test, blood test, tests on scriptures we were to memorize and more. My parents had to sign that financially I was prepared, the Bishop and Stake President had to sign that I was ready and worthy, the doctor had to say I was healthy (after he yanked out my wisdom teeth), and I had to sign and say that everything they had said was true. We sent the papers and together we waited.
When the call arrived I opened it was trembling fingers to see that I have been called to the Spain Madrid Mission. I was happy and excited but really didn't know where Spain was located; my first thought was that it was in South America somewhere. We looked on the atlas and my final... Next Page
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