... becoming more a humble feeling than being discouraged. I have so far to go and I expect so much of myself that I feel lost or hopeless. Everyone here has the same expectations and many are accomplishing all they expected (I'm trying to do all I can). I start feeling like I have 23 monthes and 3 weeks of this to go but I know that's wrong [not what I should be focusing on].
The first letter I received from Susan sort-off broke me up. She's having (or had) a very hard time and I feel so sorry for her. I don't have feelings that I want to go back or of being afraid she won't wait, I just know exactly what she's going through.
In conference a general authority said that work is the greatest natural healer (it solves everything even loneliness for me and supposedly for Sue [too]),so I wrote a letter that was very sad and very long (exactly what you would expect from a missionary ready to come home). I hope that it might snap her out of it and get her working harder to help me; at least get her to feel needed once again. I almost feel my calling includes helping her as much as helping my companions, or any [other] missionary work.
When I'm here looking back at a day, I can feel good about all I tried to accomplish but sitting in retention gets very frustrating [as] memorizing is not easy and it comes very slow for me. I sort-of feel like Nephi, using these smaller "plates" to put down my thought and many more pages go home each week[in the form of letters] full of all the things that families want to hear, like what we do here, etc.
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I'm find it getting harder and harder because every day we follow the same pattern; when I first came I figured I could do anything for a good cause (as long as it was going to last only two months) but I catch myself wasting a little more time here or there because its eat, class, retention, eat ... Next Page
I like knowing that you were once a young man with faults, like the rest of us. You are amazing, Dad!
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